


some type of love

by zanykingmentality



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: 707 | Luciel Choi's Real Name, 707 | Luciel Choi's Route, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Ray | Saeran Choi's Route, Spoilers, Unrequited Love, a little sprinkle of humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-20 21:10:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14902073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanykingmentality/pseuds/zanykingmentality
Summary: this is the way the world ends / not with a bang but with a whimper.(saeyoung and saeran are full of love. it just takes a bit of coaxing out.)





	1. saeyoung

**Author's Note:**

> look at me posting so much in one weekend 
> 
> but it's the twins' birthdays & i miss mystic messenger so here we goooo!! saeran's chapter should be up by the end of tomorrow; i'm very bad at finishing fics. unbetad as usual so forgive any lurking mistakes, and enjoy!

**i. philia.**

 

“There’s a 0.00000000001 percent chance I might show up!” His voice is gleeful, joking, because Seven is the type to try and have fun, especially with other people. 

 

“Defender of Justice, Seven-Zero-Seven! Help me!” Jiyeon’s quick as lightning, voice crackling through the phone, distorted. Thanks to audio and video files on her social media, he knows what she sounds like without the static of phone lines, and both ways make her sound good. 

 

“Wow! You’re quick! I like that in people.” She laughs gently and he  _ giggles _ back, like a girl in junior high gossiping about boys. He would be disappointed in himself if this weren’t so typical, so he rolls with it. His heart scrunches in his chest in a way that’s almost painful, but he ignores it. 

 

“I’d love to have you with me, God Seven~!” Jiyeon chirps suddenly, and Seven’s not sure whether to grin or grimace. This could go many ways, and most of the scenarios he comes up with have any attempts at camaraderie between them end badly. Still… 

 

“God Seven will always be with his faithful believers!” Seven says back, joking, only half-serious. Only half-hoping he could be serious about this. He wants the friendship. He wants togetherness. He wants to feel the all-encompassing warmth of acceptance and love and  _ love _ , but they are not his and never will be, with the life he’s turned to leading. For Saeran. Always for Saeran. It’s what he says to keep himself going. 

 

Jiyeon’s voice becomes serious, or at least Luciel’s convinced it’s serious, because her voice gets lower and more sincere and God if you’re out there  _ somewhere _ please save him, please make this less painful than it feels. He can picture her eyes, tawny hazel-brown, staring him down.   _ Seeing _ him. “To become god is the loneliest curse of all. But don’t worry! You always have friends in the RFA! We’ll support you no matter what!” 

 

“Yeah,” he chokes out. “Yeah.” It’s nice, but painful, and for a split second he actually believes her. “Anyway! The grandmaster is sending me back to work again! God Seven, signing off! BOOM!” And he clicks the phone off. 

 

She makes him smile involuntarily, and this is so  _ wrong _ but it feels so  _ right. _

 

.

 

**ii. storge.**

 

“Got everything?” 

 

“Yeah.” Jiyeon adjusts her bag of meager belongings, everything she had for herself in Rika’s apartment. It’s almost sad, to see how little she had to her name anymore. Though Rika’s apartment was doubtfully the extent of Jiyeon’s world. He ruffles her hair and she leans toward him, without thinking. Thank God he can do this. Thank God for her. 

 

“Will you be okay?” she asks. Her eyes are closed, not looking at him. He’s free to show his weakness, now, if he wants. He still doesn’t. 

 

“I don’t know,” he says truthfully. Cards his fingers through her hair. Leans his forehead against hers. “Anything could happen. You don’t have to come with me. I’d almost prefer if you didn’t.” 

 

Eyelashes brush his cheeks as her eyes flutter open and meet his. Unwavering. Unyielding. “We’re in this together,” she says. He loses all will to argue with her. Her hair is soft and her gaze is tough, like she’s felt nails against her skin like he has and still believes they will survive. Sometimes he forgets she has never been taught to be happy ― she is kindness incarnate. Beauty that lives and breathes. Sometimes he forgets the world has never been kind to her, either. 

 

Thank God for her. Thank God for  _ them _ . 

 

.

 

**iii. eros.**

 

She breathes against him. 

 

Pushing, pulling the tides. 

 

Like a harmony in a symphony. Only, the melody loses itself in its own music. Like a trailblazer, hot and heavy. Like a hard motel bed with rustling sheets and quiet whispers. Saeyoung is almost scared of this moment and what comes after it. 

 

“I want to leave on you proof that I exist,” he says. Every word is thought out. Every breath is perfectly spaced. He trails his fingers over her fleshy cheeks, watching as her eyelids instinctively flutter shut. “Will you let me have you, just for tonight?” 

 

Jiyeon answers him by kissing him on the mouth. 

 

Her arms circle around his shoulders and he rests the palms of his hands on her hips, ghosting over her waist. Hot. Heavy. Breathless. When they part it is everything short of smooth, fumbling hands pulling away clothes and ripping open a tiny packet. 

 

“You planned this,” she accuses. Saeyoung just smiles and pulls her back down to him. He presses his face into the crook of her neck and kisses her skin with the reverence of a sinner searching for absolution. 

 

“I haven’t done this in a while,” he says, softly. Nervously. She laces her fingers with his and kisses his forehead. 

 

“It takes two,” she says. 

 

“No, it doesn’t,” he says playfully, wiggling his fingers at her. She loosens her grip on his hands and laughs, the joy apparent in the tilt of her lips. 

 

“Maybe I’ll just let you do this on your own, then.” Her response is teasing, and Saeyoung almost falls for her all over again. But then, he gets that thought every day. He groans loudly and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her ever closer, breaths mingling in the blank space between them. 

 

“Please,” he says, looking her in her amber eyes with the intensity of a blazing sun. 

 

She ponders for a moment, smile still gracing her mouth. “You’ve convinced me.” She kisses the tip of his nose and he presses his lips against her so fervently the smile bleeds onto his lips, too. 

 

. 

 

**iv. agape**

 

Saeyoung closes his fingers over the box in his pocket. 

 

At the academy he dreamed of a time when he could feel this way. Light and jittery. He knows what her answer will be, but he can’t stop his heart from pounding. All the what-ifs, flickering in dizzying combinations, spinning and twisting in his head. Everyone is here. The people who’ve supported him even when he thought there was nothing left to live for, when the only thing keeping him going was keeping her safe, having someone to protect. Granted there’s not many. But they’re all he needs. 

 

“You two have already discussed marriage, yes?” Jumin is still all business, but Saeyoung’s willing to go along with it for once. 

 

“Of course~! Do you think I would propose without knowing how she’d feel about it?” 

 

“Yes” comes Jumin’s immediate response. Saeyoung pouts but doesn’t deny it. 

 

He’d thought about it. God, every day, when he clasped his hands in prayer he’d dream of learning to cook with her, being lectured about staying up all night with her; just  _ her. _ Waking up together. Clasping her hand under the sheets and smiling against her lips. The gross affectionate tendencies of newlyweds would become  _ theirs _ and he’d finally understand. (Though he thinks he already might.) Just imagining that a year ago he hadn’t known her, hadn’t memorized the cartography of her face with his eyes and the pads of his fingers; he can barely remember what that was like. He doesn’t ever  _ want _ it to be like that again. 

 

“I can’t believe you’re already getting married,” Zen murmurs. 

 

“Yeah, it’s been like, half a year?” Yoosung presses a finger to his lips worriedly. “But you’ve always taken things fast, Saeyoung!” 

 

Saeyoung grins but he can’t help the doubt that still chips away at his resolve. 

 

_ (“Jiyeon. Will you marry me?”) _

 

Her eyes are sparkling when she arrives, even if the security was an inconvenience. He needs to cool it on that, but paranoia is a hard feeling to shake. 

 

_ (“Of course.”) _

 

God, maybe everything was worth it. 


	2. saeran

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is, almost two weeks after i said i would finish it... but i did it??? i spent an uncharacteristic amount of time debating about each part, so i hope it's satisfactory...
> 
> unbetad as usual, so please enjoy!

**i. philia**

 

Ray meets her in the middle of the street. He’s sitting outside an ice cream parlor when he calls out to her. She’s incredibly stupid, or maybe incredibly brave, for trusting someone she’s never met. But online dating is all about that, isn’t it? Maybe he’s the stupid one.

 

“Hello,” he says, folding his hands. “My name is Ray. I will be taking you to our testing facility. Oh, that sounds suspicious, doesn’t it? But the game is top secret, so we can’t have any copies of it floating around. It eliminates all potential for leaks and hackers.”

 

She nods at him. “I understand. My name is Jiyeon. Thank you for letting me beta test your game.” Her head drops in a quick bow and Ray feels a such a strong and sudden wave of guilt and moral obligation to keep this girl safe that he’s almost overcome. Instead, he extends a gloved hand to her and smiles.

 

“Shall we?” he says, his voice level and controlled. She doesn’t know what she’s getting into. She’s _trusting_ him.

 

He _will_ protect her. That’s a promise.

 

.

 

**ii. storge**

 

She’s alone, as usual.

 

In the depths of his heart, he _feels_ her loneliness like its his own projected back at him. He stands as she sits on the edge of the bed. “You came here,” he starts, “without knowing what exactly you were getting into.” All Jiyeon can do is nod. “You trusted me.” Some part of that makes Ray’s heart flutter, like a butterfly with new wings. Like a flower set free in the wind.

 

“I trust you,” she confirms.

 

And somewhere in the back of his mind, Saeran whispers, _stupid girl, doesn’t she know she shouldn’t trust anyone?_ But right now, in this moment, Ray takes one of her hands and presses a gentle kiss to the back of it. “Thank you,” he says, his voice carefully controlled. He will not stammer in his emotion. Emotions, emotions, too many to count, too many to feel all at once. They’ll distract him from his work but he needs this right now, needs it like he hasn’t realized he’s needed anything before. He’s starved for the type of encouragement she provides.

 

“What led you here?” she asks quietly. She’s soft and quiet; Ray appreciates that just as much as Saeran growls about it. “Why are you here?”

 

“I have no choice,” Ray says. “Here is the only place I can be free.”

 

She takes his hand and winds her fingers through his. Looking into her eyes, Ray realizes he has so much to learn. “You can be free anywhere,” she murmurs to him. Suddenly, he can’t breathe. A lifetime of sins _pushing_ , pressing down on him from all sides. “You deserve freedom.”

 

“I could never,” is all he can manage to say. “I just need to be near you. Please, don’t leave me. Don’t hate me. I’ll do anything.”

 

“I will never hate you.”

 

The world starts to crumble.

 

.

 

**iii. eros**

 

“Do you really think anyone could ever love someone like you?” Saeran growls. He’s hungry. There’s a pang in his chest when he pins her down on the floor. She doesn’t struggle, doesn’t let her voice waver. He wants to hurt her and force her to scream. (To shout his name.)

 

“Yes,” she says. Calmly. She is the picture of serenity. Though her hands tremble and she’s frozen in obvious fear none of it shows through her face, her quiet words.

 

“Just because that weak idiot Ray said you’re worth anything doesn’t mean you are,” he says. “You don’t get a say in anything. You’re _weak_ and _stupid._ You’re less than the dirt on my shoes.” Like he’s trying to convince himself. His head hurts. Everything hurts.

 

“Okay,” she breathes. Saeran can’t bring himself to curl his fist in her hair and press his hands in places he knows could make her cry. She wouldn’t do anything about it, anyway. Wouldn’t scream, wouldn’t give him any of the reactions he wants. He should try it, just to see. But he can’t. He gets up instead, sending a withering glare her way. There’s an almost imperceptible sigh of relief; he hears it anyway, and smirks.

 

“Next time. You stupid toy.”

 

When Saeran is reborn, he can’t bring himself to touch her at all. He longs to. Featherlight touches against her skin that sear against the pads of his fingers; feeling her breath against his lips; winding his hand in her hair. All the things he can never have, should never want. All the things he could never deserve.

 

Then Jiyeon pulls him away from the laptop. “You’re overworking yourself,” she says, and he knows the agreement they’d made about this. So he pushes away from it and stands up, stretching his legs. Jiyeon’s gaze against his back makes him turn. The feeling of being scrutinized and _judged_ doesn’t leave him.

 

“Is something bothering you?”

 

“No, I just…” Jiyeon swallows thickly. “Would you mind? If I touched you?”

 

“Do you want to?” Saeran is still trying to realize his assumptions aren’t always right. She will not lie to him.

 

“Yeah, I do,” she confesses. “But I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. I just… not in a weird way! I just want to feel you… nearby.”

 

It’s like a dam is broken in Saeran. He strides over to her, takes her face in his hands, fits his mouth against hers like pieces in a puzzle. It’s like fire. He’s felt this once before when his brain was intoxicated with drugs and the ideas that he could never mean anything, that he was only worth as much as he worked. Jiyeon breathes in through her nose as her hands find his shoulders, his cheeks, his hair. It’s beautiful. They’re beautiful.

 

When Saeran pulls away he almost immediately goes back in. They get drunk on sweet touches and whispered praise. “You’re a goddess,” he says into her ear. He can see all of her. All of her is all he wants.

 

“I’m human,” she says. “I’m a human who loves you.”

 

“I love you,” he breathes, and her mouth is on his again.

 

.

 

**iv. agape**

 

When they’ve found Saeyoung, everything is right.

 

Maybe not everything. Maybe their father is behind bars, sulking and defeated, and still harbors hatred and a streak for vengeance in his blood. Maybe he sends his old partners after his illegitimate children in a last ditch effort to save his own skin; maybe he still visits in their dreams and pounces when they let their guard down.

 

Saeran wakes in cold sweat more often than not. Jiyeon is a light sleeper; she sits up with him and rests his head in her lap until he dozes off again. He’s lived his life on the nap policy ― short bursts of sleep and long work hours. He doesn’t sleep much to begin with. A lot of the time he waits for Jiyeon to fall asleep before creeping around the room. Sometimes he just watches her. Palm to cheek; she’s warm and it reminds him they’re both alive. Despite everything, they’re alive.

 

Saeyoung comes into their room sometimes. He sits at the edge of the bed and watches Jiyeon sleeping, lets his eyes drift to his brother. His eyes are sunken and tired and he looks like he’s drying out faster than anyone anticipated. Quicker than anyone young as him should be. Jiyeon does her best to keep them eating, keep them upright. Looking at Saeyoung in this dim light, with only the moon to watch them, makes the tiredness in his bones stand out like knife-scratches against chalkboard.

 

“You love her,” Saeyoung says quietly. There’s something in his eyes that Saeran can’t place. Something that’s a little more _here_ than there, something he recognizes trembles in the depths of his own heart. “Right?”

 

“Yeah.” Saeran runs his hand over the blankets, smoothing out the wrinkles. “A lot. So, _so_ much.”

 

Saeyoung smiles hollowly. “I can see why.” His eyes linger on Jiyeon for a beat more than is necessary. “There’s something about her that makes everyone love her.” Saeran nods without even thinking about it. Jiyeon has the kind of charisma people like Rika have, the kind that inspires others to put their trust and faith in her. But unlike the _savior,_ Jiyeon never asks too much from those who care, never pushes them down to make them relish what it means to be up. She loves too hard and cares too much to ever hurt anyone on purpose. There was no reason for her to choose him. She could’ve had anyone.

 

She chose Saeran.

 

He could never understand why. He _still_ can’t understand why.

 

When he looks at Saeyoung, the bigger stalk, the _stronger_ one, he curls into himself. There’s enough jealousy and insecurity burning in him for the evil part of him to jump out, but he’s careful, _so_ careful. The rampant emotions are checked, and when sometimes they wrack his thin frame with sobs, he holds her hand and presses his forehead against hers and takes a shaky breath and everything is okay.

 

Saeran snaps back to the present when Saeyoung smiles again. A broken shell of what he was when they were children, of what he was when Saeran first hacked the messenger. “You two are cute.” Oh God, this is all his fault; he shouldn’t have trusted Rika, shouldn’t have doubted his brother ― _but how could you have known?_ Jiyeon whispers in his head. He couldn’t have. His actions reduced his brother into a shadow, a lost spirit roaming through the hallways, searching for something to do. For _anything._ For any _one_ to be useful to.

 

“You love her, too,” Saeran says. He’d step back for Saeyoung. It’s the only right thing to do.

 

“She’s like my sister,” is all Saeyoung can say. With that, he leaves the room to spend another sleepless night in anguish. Saeran knows he was lying.

 

He crawls back under the covers and winds his hands around Jiyeon’s waist. “Mmh, Saeran?”

 

 _“Shh.”_ Saeran rests his chin on her shoulder and closes his eyes, pressing a chaste kiss to the nape of her neck. She shivers. “I just, I love you. So much.”

 

“I love you, too,” she says dazedly, and with her hand on his she closes her eyes again.


End file.
